The Beer Diet

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I am indebted to my friend and colleague Gary, who introduced me to a truism over 30 years ago: “You can’t buy beer – You can only rent it.” From this truism I developed the Beer Diet over the ensuing 15 years, and here it is.

No matter how much beer you drink, in the end you have to piss it out. Period. And when you do it’s always at body temperature. The question is “How does it get to body temperature?” And that’s the basis for the Beer Diet.

It is clear that your body must supply sufficient energy ie: burn calories – in order to get the beer from whatever temperature you drink it at, to the temperature of your body.

So to diet while drinking beer, you must drink it as cold as possible, and with as much ice as possible – thereby forcing your body to perform the most ‘exercise’ in heating it up to body temperature. The colder you drink it, the better your experience.

Ask any chemist – they will confirm the validity of the approach. My good scientitian friend, Professor Ed – who does have a formal scientific background in chemistry – has validated my hypothesis.

Now I was taken to task a while after I first propounded this revolutionary diet – by my good friend and part-time mentor, Denise. She suggested that I could gain the same benefits simply by drinking iced water. I initially though “Oh No, all is lost”. And I proceeded to consider end experiment further to see if she could be right.

Turns out she was wrong, and for the simple reason that it goes against all other human behaviour and dietary advice in that a successful diet includes both what you eat as well as how you think about it. Without strong psychological support, all diets fail. I can drink a glass of iced water, and it will come out room temperature, and that’s it. BUT! If I drink a glass of ice-cold beer, the mind responds “Mmm that tastes like another” thus providing the psychological support for the physical activity – a known and strong combination.

Another friend – Stephen – wondered that if it was so good, then why was I putting on weight? To which my simple response was ‘I guess I’m not drinking enough!’

So go on, have another (iced) pint and know that you are doing your body so much good by that extra one!